Mental Health Toolkit to Survive Antisemitism
I'm a UK therapist in private practice and i've created a toolkit for surviving antisemitism in the diaspora, post october 7th.
this is a resource for anybody who is trying to cope with hostility being directed at jews.
it's very much a work in progress - being updated and added to all the time.
Recognising Antisemitism
Recognise when something is not disagreement – but invalidation.
Recognise when someone is not fired up by a feeling of sadness or distress for victims of war, but by hatred for Jews. When we normalise hate and invalidation – this is part of the dehumanisation process.
This is what is happening to Jews right now in this country and in other parts of the world.
Therapeutic point
Many of us are suffering from traumatic invalidation. This is where our feelings, our history, our experience are being continually invalidated and undermined by parts of society. Pure anger can be disguised in ‘reasonableness’, a refutation of our history, quiet voices, ‘humanitarian concern’ or alternatively screaming and dressed in banners and badges and fuelled by TikTok facts. When we encounter invalidation, disrespect and dehumanisation – however it is dressed up – it is important that we recognise it for what it is.
Therapeutic point
Alternatively if something is a disagreement or even an uneducated question from a friend, and we listen respectfully to one another then this can be positive and therapeutic for us and them.
We Can't Solve It
We need to recognise that we cannot solve this.
It is not up to Jews. There are only 16 million of us in a world of 8 billion.
We are 0.2% in the UK. The results of antisemitism are currently only our problem, but antisemitism is not our problem to solve.We can’t easily leave our jobs or our neighbourhoods because we believe our colleagues or neighbours to be antisemitic.
Of course Israel is there, but we all have complicated reasons for having to live where we are – uncomfortable as it is right now for us.
We can’t always resolve what we perceive as the lack of understanding from non-Jewish friends. Some people reach out and some don’t. There are complicated reasons for both. Remember that we can see exactly how the media is fuelling anti-Jewish hatred; but many of our non-Jewish friends are listening to this propaganda on the hour every hour. At some point we may be able to address this with them. If they are good friends on every other level, tuck this thought away for the future. If they aren’t – perhaps let them go and don’t feel bad about it.
Therapeutic point
Life is not tidy and we also have a right to be angry with the silence of ‘friends’. Uncertainty is always hard – but perhaps we must learn to bear it until we’re ready to deal with it. Taking action when we are in a situation which feels beyond our control is a useful coping strategy: supporting other Jewish friends or family members, engaging in Jewish activism or volunteering in Jewish organisations, or simply attending shul and taking an active role – are all very positive responses to this negative situation.
Dealing With Anxious Thoughts
We can deal with anxious thoughts – even those rooted in reality
Therapeutic point
Any thoughts you have on any subject between 10pm and 5am should, for the most part, be disregarded.
Reality check
The shock of October 7th for some of us has been about an existentialist threat; to Israel and therefore to Jews globally. What if Israel ceases to exist? What if the UK is 1930s Germany? What if every institution becomes infected with antisemitism? What quality of life can our Jewish children and grandchildren expect in the UK?
In so many ways these ‘catastrophising’ questions are rooted in reality. Jews have 6 million recent reasons and thousands of years of ancient reasons to feel panic at such a moment. We are a people who suffer intergenerational trauma - once again resurrected by living in a post-October 7th reality where antisemitism is rife in city centre hate marches, and in the rhetoric of the media, political discourse, arts spaces and some of our public institutions and professional associations.
Therapeutic point
After 9/11, after the 7/7 bombings in London, after the bombing of the Ariane Grande concert – there was a sense that people were universally horrified by acts of terrorism. This was not a feeling universally afforded to Jews in the UK after the Yom Kippur attack. The attacks did not halt the hate marches, in spite of the (somewhat feeble) protestations of the government and polite request for people to be ‘sensitive’. Some of us will experience ‘traumatic invalidation‘ as a result of these actions. Ways of combatting this include connecting with our validity and communing with like-minded people.
Therapeutic point
Panic and anxiety are wretched and confusing sensations where we cannot think clearly. In the heat of the moment going for a walk outside or speaking to a friend really can help ground you. Sharing our worst fears with the like-minded can be helpful. Choosing to do and to act can give a semblance of control. Try doing something when you feel a sense of panic.
If it’s just between you and a notebook; write down your worst fears and come back to them in a week’s time, in the cold light of day and see if you still feel the same way about the situation.
Therapeutic point
As a people we have a survival instinct etched into our DNA; as individuals we have prayed for Israel, sent money to Israel and kept our suitcases mentally packed for that journey. Israel has equipped itself to defend and to attack. Its existence, and undeniable military strength means that the industrial murder of our people is unlikely to happen again. Even if we don’t end up there, Israel is there for our children and our grandchildren.
Reality check
UK Jews suffered a murderous attack on Yom Kippur 2025, when two worshippers at Heaton Park synagogue were murdered by an Islamist. We need to forgive ourselves for having the occasional panic, and acknowledge that there is truth to our anxious thoughts. We absolutely are grappling with a new, bleak reality.
Therapeutic point
If you’re a religious person or you are looking for a different way of coping – have an honest conversation with G-d about how you feel. Say it out loud. Hear how it sounds. Is there comfort in knowing that G-d is listening and that you are not alone?
In Kabbalah, the concept of the "speaking soul" refers to the profound idea that human speech is a divine creative energy which has the power to shape reality, repair the world, or alternatively cause destruction. Using our words and talking things out may help us to repair our own shattered world by re-writing our story.
Prepare Pre-empt
We can leave situations.
We can try to recognise the difference between hatred and disagreement.
Where we meet hatred it is therapeutic to get up and leave a situation – not to run away, but to exit.
We must remember that many of us are in ‘fight or flight mode’, where our limbic brain can take over and this can effect executive functioning.
‘Doing’ and ‘planning’ can help in these situations – because these give us a semblance of control in what can feel like an out-of-control moment.
Therapeutic point
Therapeutic point
We have the power to draw our own lines in the sand and to leave situations with dignity.
Coping Ahead
We can pre-empt situations as a way of coping. If you worry that you will be shunned or dehumanised or invalidated in a particular social space if you reveal who you are or what’s going on for you as a human being – (increasingly these are spaces where people are professionals or privileged or politicised – arts spaces, our public sector, Universities etc.), be on your guard, have a plan for how you might react, or, where you can, choose to avoid these spaces.
Therapeutic point
Find a new space where you will experience a sense of belonging and a connection to a community you feel comfortable in. This can be a religious community or a professional community where you are connected to Jews. If you have Jewish friends – have them on permanent standby for difficult moments – and be on standby for them. We need to be connected and to feel that we’ve gained because so many of us have lost something and are living compromised lives.
Educating our children & grandchildren
Antisemitism may have awoken some of us to who we are, but it does not define us as a group.
It is so important to give our children and grandchildren a firm foundation in their own story; yes we don’t want to be the broken link in the chain, yes it’s a responsibility to be a Jew – but it’s also an incredible and complicated story of a tribe and land.
As parents and grandparents we can introduce the next generation to the wonders of the Jewish story. We can, if we choose, send them to Jewish schools. We can send them to a Cheder. We can take them to Israel. We can build their resilience and a strong, confident and proud Jewish identity which will enable them to bounce back and to withstand whatever the world throws at them.
Therapeutic point
Knowing that, as a parent or grandparent, you are opening as many doors as possible and encouraging our young people to walk through them into a better life is a vote for the future. This can bring great comfort to us as well as to them.
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Through education and celebration, we are attempting to walk back the traumatic invalidation that our young people (and that we) maybe suffering.
Therapeutic point
Teach our children to be very selective with their social media use – to understand who is their friend and who is not.
Our Diasporic Experience
We can be part of a long history of Jews surviving in the diaspora. Our parents’ experience as Jews in the UK was possibly more difficult than our own (depending on your age), and our grandparents and great-grandparents – even more so. Part of the shock of this new outbreak of antisemitism is realising that we are simply part of that tradition. It may have taken us by surprise, but for our parents, grandparents and great-grandparents this situation now would be business as usual. Except that we now have Israel.
Therapeutic point
Learn from how our ancestors made positive, successful lives in the UK; coming together as Jews so that we can be our whole selves.
Therapeutic point
Like those who came before us, joining up with others in a similar situation can be empowering; being able to say ‘I had this experience’ and others saying ‘so did I – what can we do?’
Therapeutic point
Don’t suffer alone. Talk with other Jews about what is going on for you.
Stop Staring
at it!
Therapeutic point
Stop staring at antisemitism 24/7.
Remember what happened when all the people of the world were unified by one language? They tried to build a tower into Heaven. Perhaps unifying the world on social media was never a good idea…..
We want to be connected to the news and to social media. Aside from its addictive properties, this can be an extremely negative experience right now for Jews.
Therapeutic point
Cut down on what news you are reading. Dip into the news every other day – or have two days per week where you read. Or consider buying an actual newspaper occasionally, where you can catch up with current events but which is not updated every 12 seconds and doesn’t contain below the line comments.
Be discriminating in your consumption; Read Israeli media for the facts about the war.
On social media block/unfriend or mute every person who you know will invalidate – not who will disagree with – your point of view. These people are not your friends. You can sometimes tell who these people are by the Palestine flags in their bios.
Therapeutic point
The obvious rules apply; put the phone down during Shabbat. Always leave the phone outside the bedroom. We need to be strong. Not sleep-deprived.
Be Positively Jewish
As the writer Dara Horn explains: ‘Something magical happened when I switched over from looking online at news reports about antisemitic attacks to joining online Daf Yomi discussion groups…the algorithms all caught on instantly and suddenly I saw almost nothing online that wasn’t related to discussion of the Talmud’s opening pages….’ In other words: Be a Jew. And that means doing Jew-y stuff.
The undeniable positivity of being a Jew
Therapeutic point
Modern therapy practices embrace meditation, mindfulness, gratitude and affirmation. Good news! Judaism contains all of these! They can be achieved through meaningful prayer; the morning prayer sends gratitude to G-d and into the universe, the Amidah transcends time and gives us an opportunity to think of our forefathers, the Shema contains the central nugget of our difference to other tribes – what could be more powerful than to think about where all this started – our convenant with G-d, our continuation of that convenant? We even have our own mindfulness prayer – thanking G-d for bringing us to this moment.
Therapeutic point
Set foot in a synagogue again if you haven’t for some time – this is a way of coming together with other Jews, being part of an ancient tradition, giving thanks to G-d, understanding our story and just getting out of the house. Don’t worry too much about whether or not you feel you’re a religious person. Invite people for Shabbat dinner; argue, laugh, share a meal and commune. This can be very therapeutic.
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Seek out Rabbi Nachman and read about his practice of hitbodedut – honest conversations with G-d. Hitbodedut is pure therapeutic practice.
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Therapeutic point
Cook Jewish food; modern therapeutic practices talk a lot about self-care; it is no accident that the Jewish traditions and festivals are built around certain dishes. Nothing could be more nurturing and therapeutic than cooking a delicious and meaningful meal for yourself or for your family, sitting down and enjoying it together.
Keep kosher – rules and rituals stop us from over-thinking. If there are things to be done and we are busy – this can be very therapeutic.
Therapeutic point
Read Jewish books and Jewish poetry and listen to Jewish music. Find Jewish comedians – laugh so that we don’t cry.
Israel
Reality Check
If we worry that Israel is under threat, know that Israel continues to function and thrive even during the worst moments of war; tune into the various webcams around the country to witness this.
Therapeutic point
Subscribe to an Israeli streaming service; know that life and culture continue – in spite of what the world appears to be saying.
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Music can be therapeutic; Listen to Israeli music; a lot of it is joyous and energising and in a language which we love.
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take a holiday; Go to Israel; experience the life – look at the property prices; ask yourself if this is a country on its knees?
Author Note
“I am a Jewish therapist in private practice. I volunteered for 3 years for Raphael Counselling (now JAMI) a Jewish counselling service. It would not be betraying confidentiality to say that I noticed a significant change in topic post-October 7th and an uptick in anxiety from my clients about their situation as Jews in the UK.
From conversations I have had outside the counselling room, it seems that they are not alone.”
Links and Inspirations
A collection of resources for support, education, inspiration and community connection.
Mental Health Support
Jewish Community
Education & Resources
- Board of Deputies
- United Synagogue
- Jewish Leadership Council
- Union of Jewish Students
- The Jewish Chronicle
- Jewish News
- Progressive Judaism
- WIZO
- AJEX
- Habonim Dror
- Chabad UK
- Shomrim
- Campaign Against Antisemitism
- Jewish Historical Society of England
- London Centre for the Study of Contemporary Antisemitism
- Israel Advocacy Movement
- UJIA
- Jewish National Fund
- Krava Maga